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Posts tagged ‘love’

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: there is still hope for the rest of us….

Love from my point of view has always been a train wreck.   I meet someone, we date, we break up, I’m heartbroken, start all over again. It’s a never ending cycle of suffering and disappointment.  Being exposed to the dating world for a little while now I could never understand why a good looking man or woman would cheat on his or her significant other.  It was always unfathomable to me the act of cheating on a loved one, it seemed surreal and the pain it brings seems only to get worse and worse after the realization that one has been cheated on.  After hearing the news of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart I felt sick.  It was their romance that I looked up to, that thousands of other girls looked up to.  It was as if there existed a little world with just women who developed hope in their life, just because of Rob and Kristen.  They seemed different, like they could endure anything and everything the world threw at them; and this belief made it possible for every day women to never give up and keep looking for their one true love.  Well, unfortunately that world was shattered when KRISTEN, not Rob, cheated on the man of all of our dreams.  What is most shocking is that it was not a man who went behind a woman’s back, it was the girl, the girl who we all wanted to be.  I never understood how normal people would do this to the ones they love, but famous role models we dream about, I just don’t know anymore.

                I want to be mad and angry at Kristen, an individual I have never met, but in a way I feel like I am able to relate to her and Rob in a deeper lever.  This whole scandal tells me that no matter who we are, no matter what we look like, how much money we have, we are still vulnerable to the pain and suffering that comes along with loving another person.  There is no exclusive club in which one can become a member of and become immune to all the horrible things this nasty world has to offer.   There is no secret code a person can attain to avoid getting hurt in relationships.  I am an average girl who has gotten her heart broken,  but just because a couple I looked up to turned out to be just like every other couple any average person knows, does not mean I am going to lose hope for my love life.  AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU.  We are all the same, no matter what anyone says.  Pretty, skinny, tall, fat, we all have the same feelings and the same aspirations.  So, instead of looking at Rob and Kristen in a negative way, we need to see them as a heartbroken couple that will need to work hard if they are ever going to make their relationship work again.  Love dies, but it has the supernatural ability to be born over and over and over again. 

Till next time,



What is the point of a boyfriend?

Dear people,

A boyfriend is supposed to be a companion. A person who willingly and voluntarily wants to share his time with you, right?? I think I am mistaken in this assumption, not based on opinion but empirical evidence. You see it is Thursday night and I am alone. I just finished watching Awkward one of my favorite shows, but here I am, alone. Oh he texted me, “what are you doing?” Oh you know you stupid fuck watching tv with my family instead of you coming over to spend to time with your beautiful girl. I don’t understand the point of being with a guy who does not want to spend time with me. I thought that was the whole point, I want someone to be with me and come over and cuddle. I tried to break up with his ass, but oh no, “baby I don’t want to lose you blah blah blah.” Like shut the fuck up. Sometimes I just want to crack open a guy’s head and see if it is really brains in there or some weird substance still unknown to science. If a guy is your boyfriend he automatically has obligations to do what you want to do or at least have the decency to end the relationship. Grow some balls men, because while you are “hanging with the bros,” we are “texting other bros.”

Pissed as hell


The Devil Broke My Heart

It’s funny how no matter how hard I try to forget you, you always seem to find a way back to my mind.  I live day by day, whishing and hoping that your memory will slowly fade away into nothingness, never again to hunt me on those sleepless nights.  I hate it that when I’m with someone new, I come so close to making myself believe that I am over you.  And then, I see your face, that face that I hate more than anything in this entire miserable world, and I realize that I have no feelings for anyone else but you.  It is so hard to hate you and love you and miss you and hate you more all at once.  My body needs a break from my emotions.  I want to love the person I am with, but your memory makes it hopeless.  I am too smart to fool my mind, and too foolish to get over you.  I pray to a God I don’t believe in, I wish on stars that are not falling, I touch the guitar your fingers played, and melt away on nothing but a memory.  You left me by choice, I wish I could say that your memory lingers by choice, but it does not.  If it were up to me, I would make your memory disappear in an instant, if it were up to choice your presence will not make me shudder, I would see you and smile and go on with my day.  But every time I see you, I force my body to be strong and act as if I am not affected by the air we currently share, I am strong in your eyes, but the second you don’t see me I am so weak I cannot even breathe.  I shake and leave the world for days until I can convince myself, once again, that I am over you.  I will never be over you and for that you are the Devil. I will always hate you, but I will always love you more. I am on my knees begging for you to come back; but I am on my knees begging myself to get over you at the same time.


The Hidden Woman

My eyes meet your eyes

An effortless pull brings you to me

My voice enters your body

It flows like venom through your veins

Lust blinds you ever so slowly

Hunger emerges from your soul

My breath intoxicates your senses

Everything you once knew vanishes

Fear creeps through your spine

You hesitate unaware of my meaning

I am both your duty and desire

My touch makes you surrender

You never stood a chance

Self control seizes to exist

You gave into my power

Just like I knew you would

You lost the battle and the war

You are mine forever.

He Deleted ME Off Facebook…The end.. Part 12

                I felt so low after that stupid morning, I had finally experienced my first asshole. I felt like I needed a round of applause. “You did it,” “He got you!” I felt embarrassed and used. “I can’t believe you didn’t fuck me last night.” REALLY!! REALLLYYY! Who the fuck says that? Excuse my language. But seriously.  Want to know the worst part, the next day he deleted me off his Facebook!! Hahahahahah.  What a douche. I hate it when boys delete me off their Facebook, like wow your cool we’re no longer friends, you really got me.  The whole concept just really pisses me off.

                Okay, now I have to share something with you, you might hate me and lose respect for me; you should know that I hate me and have lost respect for me too. I am going to do this fast, I texted the stupid asshole and was like “ I am sorry, u probs hate me. We should talk.” Wow, I really had no respect for myself. This guy had screwed me over, and here I was texting him. Want to know the best part, he texted me back and said, “We should go our separate ways.”

                I had gotten screwed twice in one weekend by the asshole, and we did not even have sex.  Well, I guess this is really how my story ends with this guy.  I never really saw him after that, except driving around.  I slowly but surely got my self-confidence back, and am glad that I met Eric. If it was not for him, I would think men were actually nice creatures. If it was not for Eric, I would still think that boys are harmless.

                So, ladies take from a girl with all the experience in the world, not.   Boys are jerks, and even if you think your boy is not a jerk, well, he is.  He will hurt you, and if you think he won’t, think again.  Better yet, we should all just become lesbians, and leave them all to pleasure their asshole selves. Who’s with me!?  Yeah, maybe not.

Till next time.


“I can’t believe you didn’t BLEEP me last night.” Walk of Shame… Part 11

                Alcohol has the ability to make us do things we would never do, and make us think things we would never think. I want to blame alcohol for the events that took place that fateful night that I will share with you.  It is sad really, when you lose your brain and cannot seem to find it as it is swimming in your mind. I knew Eric was outside, but I was inside, with this guy name Will.  He was cute and I knew he liked me, for some reason my brain told me that it was okay to kiss this guy and hope that Eric will see.  

                I was angry, Eric had not spoken to me at that party and I was starting to lose it. My thoughts were not working right so I grabbed Will and I kissed him. He was okay, I was only using him.   My sister dragged me into the bathroom and I poured my thoughts out, “Eric hates me.”

                “He saw you and whistled and told you to go and say hi! You are just drunk and stupid to notice anything.”

                “Oh.” Was all I could say.  I went outside forgetting Will and found Eric, he seemed a little distant, once again playing those stupid little games.  We were all getting ready to play a game of beer pong and Eric went inside to get the booze.  Will found me and wrapped his arms around me, “Yes.” I had him right where I wanted him and started making out with him.  Eric came out and saw me, “perfect,” I thought. This would make him jealous and he would want me back.  Wow, was I wrong!

                Eric could not look me in the face the whole night, so I followed him around, making him look me in the face. He said,  “ I cannot believe you did that, I would have never made out with a girl in front of you.”  I could not make sense of anything, my mind was to foggy, he was mad , but mad was good, right? WRONG.

                I managed to stay with him that night, we did not have sex, but I knew he wanted to.  I was just happy, I had him right where I wanted, and it seemed like he had forgiven me for kissing Will.  We cuddled and fell asleep.  I woke up the next morning, in his arms, hangover had not hit me yet, but everything was perfect. We woke up, I looked into his eyes, he looked into mine, and he said the most romantic thing I had ever heard: “I can’t believe you didn’t fuck me last night.” I was ready to die.

                He basically kicked me out at 7:30 in the morning. Clothes in hand, walking the walk of shame. Yup, he was the biggest gentleman in whole world, NOT.  I wanted to throw up, I felt so low and disgusting, I could not even look myself in the face.

Till next time.


“I like you, but not as a girlfriend.” Part 10 of my miserable life..


                We let go of our beautiful embrace, and I was happy for the first time in months. I could not help but stare at him, memorizing all his features once again.  His eyes, still blue, not that his eyes were supposed to change color or anything.   He smelled amazing and manly, gosh I had been with him for two minutes and was already turned on, he he.  We talked for a little bit, and then he left, “class” he said.  When a guy puts class over you, then you know he does not like you; I had to learn that the hard way.

                Throughout the first couple of weeks of the semester, the only times I had even seen Eric was when I would eventually run into him. He would shoot me the usual, most informative “Hey” text message and that was that. I was starting to get sick of his stupid games, and him not getting on his knees and  telling me he loved me, and all that movie crap. So, I did what any normal girl in that situation would do; I texted the asshole, I mean Eric. “I really like you, do you still like me?”

                I am going to cut it short for you, all in all it took him about an hour of talking for him to tell me, “I like you, but not as a girlfriend.” Ouch, it sucked, I was hurt once again. I felt like all those months of daydreaming during work that summer were wasted and I wanted to die.  So, once again I did what any other girl would do, I went to a party next door to his apartment.

                I got dressed up, jeans, purple crop top, make-up was done, and I had my flirt on.  I knew that once I got  to the party I would see him and he would see me, and we would fall in love, right? Well, before I walked over to the party me and my friends decided to take some shots to take the edge off, and man did I take the edge off. 

                I downed maybe five shotsies and was on my way to get my man back. Maybe I should inform you, I am a light weight, small, and alcohol hits pretty hard, if you get what I am saying.  I was pretty drunk by the time I got there. Someone whistled, I lifted my head up, and there he was, mine for the taking. I gave him a quick smile and walked inside the apartment totally ignoring him. I was cool, let me tell you. Well, I was feeling the alcohol, feeling Eric, and was getting pissed that he was not saying hi to me again. I made some pretty stupid decisions that night!! So, I will give your little party brains a little break.

Till next time.