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The Country Boy Came Back…For Now…Part 9

                The boy I had really liked finally got my number again and started to talk to me like nothing had changed between us.  Eric told me about his summer and work, and I told him about my summer and my work.  It was casual conversation. It progressed from Facebook to texting,  never really reaching the TELEPHONE level.  He was cute when we talked, I could not wait to see his face when the semester started again.

                Our conversations were very sporadic , I never really knew when the next time he would text me would be, but I never really minded, it was summer and I was having some fun.  We would argue and talk, and laugh and talk, and whatever and talk. I was content with our summer relationship, if one could even call it that. As the semester started to approach, I started getting more and more nervous.  Those stupid questions of is he still going to like me?  Would eventually arise in my mind and then disappear just as fast.

                He did not text me or  call me the day he got in, and I did not really think twice about it; he was moving in, he was busy.  He had been at school for at least a few days and did nothing to contact me. I was starting to question if we were ever going to meet again.  That first day of classes I was walking around, my head held high, and I finally got a text from him: “ Was that you walking in to Building A?”

                “Yes, where are you?”

                “Going to building C.” That was his stupid reply.

                “Oh, well want to meet up? I really want to see  you.” That was me being extremely desperate, how I regret ever replying.

                “Yeah, come here I am going to class at 12:30.” My watch read 12pm. I had half an hour to get to his side and see that beautiful face I had been dreaming of the whole, stupid, freaking, long-ass summer.

                I walked into the computer center, and there he was, Eric.  All of him, not thoughts, no imagination or illusions, it was him; and he was perfect.  We both sort of stared at each other.  He was wearing a flannel red shirt, jeans, and those yellow Timberlands I loved so much.  We stared at each other and then embraced for what seemed like years.

                Gosh, he smelled so good, and there I was, finally, right where I had wanted to be all summer long.  I did not want to let go.  I was melting and I was happy.  Memories can seem so distant sometimes; and this memory is one that I wish I could permanently delete from my mind.  He was so perfect, so great, and so fake; all at the same time.

Till next time.



Getting Over A Country Boy… Part 8

              My summer started out with me working at Subway, super-duper fun.  I was not interested in boys at all because my heart belonged to my one and only. Every guy was ugly compared to him and stupid and ugly. So my summer consisted of working during the day and going out at night. I kind of became wild in a way, I was always looking for a way to get out of my house and wonder around the world.  I made a lot of new friends and had many guys eating out of the palm of my hands. It was great! I was not going to get hurt, I was going to hurt them; and damn how I was enjoying that summer.

              The first guy I kissed, I thought of Eric the whole time; and the second; and the third.  I am pretty sure you can see where this is going.  I was not a slut, these guys took me out and showed me off, I was enjoying myself and it was great until reality started hitting me in the face.  Every time I would try to fall asleep and drift off the planet for a few hours I would just think of his stupid ugly face; IT WAS HORRIBLE.  I was leading guys on while on my ‘getting over Eric’ journey, it was great.  It was hard keeping all the guys in check and not messing up their names, I felt like such a player; I had never been that way before. It was new and exciting, and still nothing could fill that stupid aching void that filled my life. 

               Days went by slow, boys started becoming a blur and blending in all together.  It was like I did not know any of them, I was using them and did not care at all.  I broke a lot of hearts and never stopped to care about them; they were the enemy and that is all I needed to justify my actions.  I hated their kind and felt great every time I would send one of them crying, looking back they did not deserve what I did to them; but there is nothing I  can do about it now. I was so empty on the inside, it was crazy and I had no idea who the girl who filled my insides was; she was not caring, or thoughtful, or nice. She was a lying, backstabbing bitch who deserved to get hurt by a billion guys(not just one).  

               I never really understood why boys liked me, the first thing I would always so to them was “I AM A BITCH, stay away from me, I do not want a boyfriend.” Did they listen to me? No. So, I partially blame them for falling for me; I warned their asses and they decided not to listen to my words of wisdom.  Every face was a substitute for the face I really wanted in my hands.  I was so strong in front of these boys and so broken when I was alone. No one saw my pain, or maybe they did and that is why they stuck around.  I was so mean, I think about it and just cannot imagine how a person could be that mean, and there I was; and I am pretty sure I exist.

               After two months of summer Eric added me on facebook and then asked for my number again.  What a loser! He deleted me off his phone. But I was too excited to care, we started talking again and before I knew it, all my progress of forgetting his face was gone, and there I was drooling over his stupid, dumbass face again.  Till next time.


Country Boy’s Suck! Losing Them Sucks Even More!!! Part 7… Of My Misery…

          I looked at the text message and there it was, the magic words I had been waiting for: “ Did you really end this because I didn’t see you this week? I wanna talk to you in person.” I had never seen my fingers move so fast as when I was typing “okay” and sending it to him on my phone.  We talked for a while and in the end everything was perfect, we were back to Eric and Layla; it was great. He texted me, “Goodnight honey J” and I fell asleep like a little baby. The next day I did not receive a “Good morning honey” and it caught me off guard.  Maybe he was still pissed at me for breaking it off and needed some time, we still had not talked face to face and I was okay with it.  He did not make an effort to see me that day and we were set to talk the next Monday about why I broke it off in the first place. Saturday night pissed me off because our college was having Springfest and he decided not to meet up with me, I was starting to think that he was never going to forgive me for breaking it off with him.  I still had my hopes up for Monday when we would meet up and talk, so I ignored him ignoring me(it’s confusing I know). 

            Monday finally decided to show up and our plans were not set.  He was very short with me and seemed to just not want to put in the effort to see me.  He asked if we could meet up the next day and I said “No.” And then his text set me off, “Fine I guess I’ll just fail all my exams.” I never responded to that text and stopped caring.  He did not talk to me for the next three days and it was absolutely horrible.  I cried and cried and hated myself for it. I had lost the only boy I had ever really liked.

            I decided to move on and have a study date at the library with a guy I had met; he was cute and just what I needed.  I got up to go to the bathroom and who the HELL do I run into? Fucking Eric(excuse my language).  We had the most awkward hug you could possibly imagine, I am pretty sure I stuttered when I saw him; he looked great and there I was three days after our last conversation on a date, awesome!  He sat on the opposite table and watched me flirt my ass off with this boy, I guess I was just trying to make him jealous. Want to know if it worked? Nope, it did not.  I left and he gave me a quick nod, he could not even look me in the face. That was the last time I saw him before he went back home and my unbearable summer began.

            I texted him, not knowing if he had already left, “I’m sorry about everything.  I wanna see you before you leave and get coffee.”  All he had to say to me was “ You have nothing to be sorry about and I am pretty busy, in three months for sure.”  I was left to face my misery all alone; every part of my body ached.  I was not going to see him for three months and I knew it was over, I just did not let myself believe that it was. I told myself he liked me and it was all my fault, but really I had given him every single opportunity to get me back; and he did not take advantage of those opportunities.  He was gone, I was alone, and summer was just starting. Till next time.


Ladies Stay Away From Country Boys!!!

            Let’s face it…Country boys are sexy and there is just something intoxicating about that little accent some of the boys possess.  They tend to wear worn out blue jeans, plaid button down shirts, worn down muddy boots, and their favorite baseball cap.  They walk around tall and strong, proud to be Americans with a confidence that may leave any girl begging for air. They drive around in pick-up trucks, blasting country music, with a shot-gun hiding in the back seat. They are the definition of men in my book. It is not that I do not find other men attractive, it is just that I met one who changed my view on men forever.

            A girl wants a boy to treat them like a princess every second of the day, and a country boy will do just that.  He will take you out, pick out pretty flowers, meet your mama, and do everything possible for you to fall hard. If he can play the guitar, he will sit you down and make you listen to a song he wrote JUST FOR YOU.

            Ladies my only advice is that you STAY THE HELL AWAY!! I understand how biased my opinion is, but I do not want to see girls go through the aching I had to go through after my encounter with this rare man. I also understand that one cannot stay away, so I am going to give you a few tips on how to make sure you stay true to yourself and you do not give into their stupid little games:

1. Every country boy loves his mama; sure it’s cute and it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but do not let it cloud your judgment.

2. They are perfect gentleman and are always willing to meet your mama, they care about the impression they leave on others, so do not be fooled by that sweet smile he leaves on your mom’s face after you leave for your first date.

3. Country songs are like little stories made to fit into a 4 minute time slot;  they make you believe anything is possible. Keep your imagination on lock down until after 3 months of dating. Trust me, the heartbreak is unbearable.

4. The last tip I am going to leave you with is do not listen to anything but your own heart.  You are your own true judgment, if in your heart you see that your man is honest, sincere, and genuine; then please do not let him go.  I know I am contradicting myself a little, but I asked way too many questions without listening to my own self when I was in a relationship. Have a heart to heart with yourself before you decide to let anyone into your life.

I love country music, always have always will.  I know some people will like me a little more and others a little less and that is totally okay in my book.  I do not mean to trash talk country boys for I hope to find my own one day, and I might find him and he won’t even be country, who knows!? I just want to let you know to stay away from little games when it comes to your heart. No one really wins when there is so much to lose.