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He Deleted ME Off Facebook…The end.. Part 12

                I felt so low after that stupid morning, I had finally experienced my first asshole. I felt like I needed a round of applause. “You did it,” “He got you!” I felt embarrassed and used. “I can’t believe you didn’t fuck me last night.” REALLY!! REALLLYYY! Who the fuck says that? Excuse my language. But seriously.  Want to know the worst part, the next day he deleted me off his Facebook!! Hahahahahah.  What a douche. I hate it when boys delete me off their Facebook, like wow your cool we’re no longer friends, you really got me.  The whole concept just really pisses me off.

                Okay, now I have to share something with you, you might hate me and lose respect for me; you should know that I hate me and have lost respect for me too. I am going to do this fast, I texted the stupid asshole and was like “ I am sorry, u probs hate me. We should talk.” Wow, I really had no respect for myself. This guy had screwed me over, and here I was texting him. Want to know the best part, he texted me back and said, “We should go our separate ways.”

                I had gotten screwed twice in one weekend by the asshole, and we did not even have sex.  Well, I guess this is really how my story ends with this guy.  I never really saw him after that, except driving around.  I slowly but surely got my self-confidence back, and am glad that I met Eric. If it was not for him, I would think men were actually nice creatures. If it was not for Eric, I would still think that boys are harmless.

                So, ladies take from a girl with all the experience in the world, not.   Boys are jerks, and even if you think your boy is not a jerk, well, he is.  He will hurt you, and if you think he won’t, think again.  Better yet, we should all just become lesbians, and leave them all to pleasure their asshole selves. Who’s with me!?  Yeah, maybe not.

Till next time.



“I can’t believe you didn’t BLEEP me last night.” Walk of Shame… Part 11

                Alcohol has the ability to make us do things we would never do, and make us think things we would never think. I want to blame alcohol for the events that took place that fateful night that I will share with you.  It is sad really, when you lose your brain and cannot seem to find it as it is swimming in your mind. I knew Eric was outside, but I was inside, with this guy name Will.  He was cute and I knew he liked me, for some reason my brain told me that it was okay to kiss this guy and hope that Eric will see.  

                I was angry, Eric had not spoken to me at that party and I was starting to lose it. My thoughts were not working right so I grabbed Will and I kissed him. He was okay, I was only using him.   My sister dragged me into the bathroom and I poured my thoughts out, “Eric hates me.”

                “He saw you and whistled and told you to go and say hi! You are just drunk and stupid to notice anything.”

                “Oh.” Was all I could say.  I went outside forgetting Will and found Eric, he seemed a little distant, once again playing those stupid little games.  We were all getting ready to play a game of beer pong and Eric went inside to get the booze.  Will found me and wrapped his arms around me, “Yes.” I had him right where I wanted him and started making out with him.  Eric came out and saw me, “perfect,” I thought. This would make him jealous and he would want me back.  Wow, was I wrong!

                Eric could not look me in the face the whole night, so I followed him around, making him look me in the face. He said,  “ I cannot believe you did that, I would have never made out with a girl in front of you.”  I could not make sense of anything, my mind was to foggy, he was mad , but mad was good, right? WRONG.

                I managed to stay with him that night, we did not have sex, but I knew he wanted to.  I was just happy, I had him right where I wanted, and it seemed like he had forgiven me for kissing Will.  We cuddled and fell asleep.  I woke up the next morning, in his arms, hangover had not hit me yet, but everything was perfect. We woke up, I looked into his eyes, he looked into mine, and he said the most romantic thing I had ever heard: “I can’t believe you didn’t fuck me last night.” I was ready to die.

                He basically kicked me out at 7:30 in the morning. Clothes in hand, walking the walk of shame. Yup, he was the biggest gentleman in whole world, NOT.  I wanted to throw up, I felt so low and disgusting, I could not even look myself in the face.

Till next time.



When is it really okay to start pet names in a relationship?

I was asking myself this question when I received a text from this guy I am “sort of” with, this is what he said: “Good point. Goodnight munchkin.”

I do not know why after reading this text I got this gagging feeling in my throat.  First of all I am NOT some snack from Dunkin Donuts, second of all am I fat that he has to come up with that nickname? We had only been together a few months; he is not even my boyfriend. To me, pet names have always taken the relationship to the next level.

Then I started thinking, what is a good pet name? Honey, baby, sweetie, sweetie pie, honey bunches of oats, squirrel, flower, and the list goes on forever. I do not care if it is good or not, there should be specific time to cross that line, maybe sit down and have a conversation about what is appropriate. Then, tell your significant other when he is able to use such nickname.

I gave a guy my number and two seconds later, he was already calling me “sweetheart.” That right there was a deal breaker. I do not know if it just me that thinks this way.  Per names can be embarrassing and should only be used when both parties have a non spoken agreement, better yet SPOKEN agreement on when to start with the names.

When do you think it is okay to start using pet names? What is the most embarrassing one you have heard?

Thanks a lot BABIES (gagging sound) !!


When Does A Parent Give Up On His Child? Is It Possible Or Does Love Conquer All?

        What does it mean to give up on a child? Is it possible to stop caring about your child and watch him ruin his life? These are some questions I have been asking myself all day. My sister is not your typical teen who gets into trouble here and there, it is almost as if trouble follows her wherever she goes; whether she gets caught driving at an early age by the police or gets caught drinking in an abandoned house when she was in middle school.   My parents have had to see my sister grow into a beautiful woman whom I love with all my heart. She is so special and so different than any other human being on this planet, she has a certain spark that makes any person she encounters fall under a spell; especially my parents.

          They have had to pick her up from the police station multiple times, they have had to see her go to the hospital from drinking too much.  She has gotten caught shop lifting, it is a list that keeps on growing; not in a good way.  I have seen my mother cry over her, my father tear up at her actions, but I have never seen them turn their back on my sister. Today, once again, she was caught drinking at school and is now suspended for three days.  My mom called me crying, no longer knowing what to do. I stayed on the phone with her and told her to go home and give my sister a big hug and kiss, to tell her that she loves her with all her heart. I reminded her how lucky she is to have my sister in her life, that she is alive and healthy.

          Teens make so many mistakes and some of them lose their lives over their mistakes. My sister is at home, maybe crying, but she is alive.  I am not a parent and not even close to becoming one, but if you are a parent I want to remind you that if your child does something to hurt you or himself, you need to know that you are so lucky to have that child in your life.  So many parents are not able to hold their children and tell them they love them. I cannot find a reason for why a parent would give up on their child.  I feel that if a parent says he is giving up, it is just a cover, for that parent knows exactly what he or she is doing.

          My mother may be hurt right now, but I know she is getting home and holding my sister this very moment, one never knows when life ends, so why waste it with tears? I know I will never find a concrete answer for why some parents give up on their children, maybe they lose hope and all will is lost; or maybe they are so lost trying to find an answer they lose sight of their children.  My parents will never stop fighting for my sister and neither will I. I know one day we will all look at these hard times and maybe share a laugh, but right now I know there is so much work to be done.

         Live your life for today with your child. Hold them tight and tighter and cry together because you only have that one moment; share laughter and love.  It is so easy to get caught up in anger, take the anger in and forgive that child; for he or she is so special and one day you might find yourself without your child and wishing they could be in your arms once again. Forgive, cry, love, fight, love, yell, love, embrace love.


Ladies Stay Away From Country Boys!!!

            Let’s face it…Country boys are sexy and there is just something intoxicating about that little accent some of the boys possess.  They tend to wear worn out blue jeans, plaid button down shirts, worn down muddy boots, and their favorite baseball cap.  They walk around tall and strong, proud to be Americans with a confidence that may leave any girl begging for air. They drive around in pick-up trucks, blasting country music, with a shot-gun hiding in the back seat. They are the definition of men in my book. It is not that I do not find other men attractive, it is just that I met one who changed my view on men forever.

            A girl wants a boy to treat them like a princess every second of the day, and a country boy will do just that.  He will take you out, pick out pretty flowers, meet your mama, and do everything possible for you to fall hard. If he can play the guitar, he will sit you down and make you listen to a song he wrote JUST FOR YOU.

            Ladies my only advice is that you STAY THE HELL AWAY!! I understand how biased my opinion is, but I do not want to see girls go through the aching I had to go through after my encounter with this rare man. I also understand that one cannot stay away, so I am going to give you a few tips on how to make sure you stay true to yourself and you do not give into their stupid little games:

1. Every country boy loves his mama; sure it’s cute and it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but do not let it cloud your judgment.

2. They are perfect gentleman and are always willing to meet your mama, they care about the impression they leave on others, so do not be fooled by that sweet smile he leaves on your mom’s face after you leave for your first date.

3. Country songs are like little stories made to fit into a 4 minute time slot;  they make you believe anything is possible. Keep your imagination on lock down until after 3 months of dating. Trust me, the heartbreak is unbearable.

4. The last tip I am going to leave you with is do not listen to anything but your own heart.  You are your own true judgment, if in your heart you see that your man is honest, sincere, and genuine; then please do not let him go.  I know I am contradicting myself a little, but I asked way too many questions without listening to my own self when I was in a relationship. Have a heart to heart with yourself before you decide to let anyone into your life.

I love country music, always have always will.  I know some people will like me a little more and others a little less and that is totally okay in my book.  I do not mean to trash talk country boys for I hope to find my own one day, and I might find him and he won’t even be country, who knows!? I just want to let you know to stay away from little games when it comes to your heart. No one really wins when there is so much to lose.