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It’s funny how no matter how hard I try to forget you, you always seem to find a way back to my mind.  I live day by day, whishing and hoping that your memory will slowly fade away into nothingness, never again to hunt me on those sleepless nights.  I hate it that when I’m with someone new, I come so close to making myself believe that I am over you.  And then, I see your face, that face that I hate more than anything in this entire miserable world, and I realize that I have no feelings for anyone else but you.  It is so hard to hate you and love you and miss you and hate you more all at once.  My body needs a break from my emotions.  I want to love the person I am with, but your memory makes it hopeless.  I am too smart to fool my mind, and too foolish to get over you.  I pray to a God I don’t believe in, I wish on stars that are not falling, I touch the guitar your fingers played, and melt away on nothing but a memory.  You left me by choice, I wish I could say that your memory lingers by choice, but it does not.  If it were up to me, I would make your memory disappear in an instant, if it were up to choice your presence will not make me shudder, I would see you and smile and go on with my day.  But every time I see you, I force my body to be strong and act as if I am not affected by the air we currently share, I am strong in your eyes, but the second you don’t see me I am so weak I cannot even breathe.  I shake and leave the world for days until I can convince myself, once again, that I am over you.  I will never be over you and for that you are the Devil. I will always hate you, but I will always love you more. I am on my knees begging for you to come back; but I am on my knees begging myself to get over you at the same time.



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