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              My summer started out with me working at Subway, super-duper fun.  I was not interested in boys at all because my heart belonged to my one and only. Every guy was ugly compared to him and stupid and ugly. So my summer consisted of working during the day and going out at night. I kind of became wild in a way, I was always looking for a way to get out of my house and wonder around the world.  I made a lot of new friends and had many guys eating out of the palm of my hands. It was great! I was not going to get hurt, I was going to hurt them; and damn how I was enjoying that summer.

              The first guy I kissed, I thought of Eric the whole time; and the second; and the third.  I am pretty sure you can see where this is going.  I was not a slut, these guys took me out and showed me off, I was enjoying myself and it was great until reality started hitting me in the face.  Every time I would try to fall asleep and drift off the planet for a few hours I would just think of his stupid ugly face; IT WAS HORRIBLE.  I was leading guys on while on my ‘getting over Eric’ journey, it was great.  It was hard keeping all the guys in check and not messing up their names, I felt like such a player; I had never been that way before. It was new and exciting, and still nothing could fill that stupid aching void that filled my life. 

               Days went by slow, boys started becoming a blur and blending in all together.  It was like I did not know any of them, I was using them and did not care at all.  I broke a lot of hearts and never stopped to care about them; they were the enemy and that is all I needed to justify my actions.  I hated their kind and felt great every time I would send one of them crying, looking back they did not deserve what I did to them; but there is nothing I  can do about it now. I was so empty on the inside, it was crazy and I had no idea who the girl who filled my insides was; she was not caring, or thoughtful, or nice. She was a lying, backstabbing bitch who deserved to get hurt by a billion guys(not just one).  

               I never really understood why boys liked me, the first thing I would always so to them was “I AM A BITCH, stay away from me, I do not want a boyfriend.” Did they listen to me? No. So, I partially blame them for falling for me; I warned their asses and they decided not to listen to my words of wisdom.  Every face was a substitute for the face I really wanted in my hands.  I was so strong in front of these boys and so broken when I was alone. No one saw my pain, or maybe they did and that is why they stuck around.  I was so mean, I think about it and just cannot imagine how a person could be that mean, and there I was; and I am pretty sure I exist.

               After two months of summer Eric added me on facebook and then asked for my number again.  What a loser! He deleted me off his phone. But I was too excited to care, we started talking again and before I knew it, all my progress of forgetting his face was gone, and there I was drooling over his stupid, dumbass face again.  Till next time.

L.C.

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