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                Eric walked me to the door and kissed me good-bye.  It was a perfect date with a perfect ending; but something I realized too late is that perfect does not exist, unless you believe in God.  Let’s face it, who would want to date a perfect being, it would suck and be annoying. So, I am happy that I am not perfect in any shape or form; and that most people who meet me think I am either crazy or a freak.  Maybe that is why some boys are attracted to my charm, they love my awesomeness, which I cannot totally blame them for.  To be honest, I never really quite understood what it was that made a guy look my way, why me and not another girl; more questions to add to my list.  I have a list filled with unanswered questions that I am hoping to ask God when I die, so please exist!

            Back to my beautiful fairytale… Eric was perfect after our first date, we made a big transition from one date to a relationship.  I am not going to lie, IT FREAKED ME OUT! He would hold my hand, kiss me in front of people, and I got stupid butterflies every time he came near me, it was a nightmare. He texted me every minute of the day, annoying the poop out of me blah blah blah… Boring stuff.

            I am about to let you in a little secret about the person I am, I am a virgin, SHHH! Please do not tell anybody, personal conversation.  I am not the kind to “get it in” any time soon after meeting a guy, or ever.  I never told Eric my secret, I think it was because I was embarrassed of something that should be cherished and did not want him to judge me in any way.  I was dumb for not being honest I understand, but you can imagine how sexual it got between us. A kiss here and there, lots of cuddling at our movie dates.  I never want to move to quick with a guy, I want him to fall hard for me before I give him any part of me.  He understood where I stood somehow and never quite pressured me to do anything I did not want to do.

            I remember him buying me tickets to my favorite sports team after I had told him about it in a passing conversation.  I could not believe my luck, I found a guy who was handsome and listened to what I told him; I hit the jackpot.  The problem was my mom surprised me with front row tickets for the same exact game, and knowing my stupid self I told him about it  and he was cool about not using his tickets( I mean at least that is what it looked like).  He picked me up and was brave enough to meet my three older brothers, two biological and one big family moocher. Eric was willing to do anything to take me out on a date, which I gave him a lot of credit for. I got in the car and accidently sat on a piece of paper, a parking pass he had bought. This guy really did think of everything. The sad part was I opened my big fat slobbery mouth, “ Oh I already got the parking pass.”  Shit, poop, why are you so stupid!! Those were the reoccurring thoughts that kept appearing in my mind after that disappointing look he let me see for about two seconds before it was back to a fake smile. He put on his country music and we were on our way, I felt like a bitch and thank God I had no idea what he was feeling.  Till next time.



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