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Love from my point of view has always been a train wreck.   I meet someone, we date, we break up, I’m heartbroken, start all over again. It’s a never ending cycle of suffering and disappointment.  Being exposed to the dating world for a little while now I could never understand why a good looking man or woman would cheat on his or her significant other.  It was always unfathomable to me the act of cheating on a loved one, it seemed surreal and the pain it brings seems only to get worse and worse after the realization that one has been cheated on.  After hearing the news of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart I felt sick.  It was their romance that I looked up to, that thousands of other girls looked up to.  It was as if there existed a little world with just women who developed hope in their life, just because of Rob and Kristen.  They seemed different, like they could endure anything and everything the world threw at them; and this belief made it possible for every day women to never give up and keep looking for their one true love.  Well, unfortunately that world was shattered when KRISTEN, not Rob, cheated on the man of all of our dreams.  What is most shocking is that it was not a man who went behind a woman’s back, it was the girl, the girl who we all wanted to be.  I never understood how normal people would do this to the ones they love, but famous role models we dream about, I just don’t know anymore.

                I want to be mad and angry at Kristen, an individual I have never met, but in a way I feel like I am able to relate to her and Rob in a deeper lever.  This whole scandal tells me that no matter who we are, no matter what we look like, how much money we have, we are still vulnerable to the pain and suffering that comes along with loving another person.  There is no exclusive club in which one can become a member of and become immune to all the horrible things this nasty world has to offer.   There is no secret code a person can attain to avoid getting hurt in relationships.  I am an average girl who has gotten her heart broken,  but just because a couple I looked up to turned out to be just like every other couple any average person knows, does not mean I am going to lose hope for my love life.  AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU.  We are all the same, no matter what anyone says.  Pretty, skinny, tall, fat, we all have the same feelings and the same aspirations.  So, instead of looking at Rob and Kristen in a negative way, we need to see them as a heartbroken couple that will need to work hard if they are ever going to make their relationship work again.  Love dies, but it has the supernatural ability to be born over and over and over again. 

Till next time,



Dear people,

A boyfriend is supposed to be a companion. A person who willingly and voluntarily wants to share his time with you, right?? I think I am mistaken in this assumption, not based on opinion but empirical evidence. You see it is Thursday night and I am alone. I just finished watching Awkward one of my favorite shows, but here I am, alone. Oh he texted me, “what are you doing?” Oh you know you stupid fuck watching tv with my family instead of you coming over to spend to time with your beautiful girl. I don’t understand the point of being with a guy who does not want to spend time with me. I thought that was the whole point, I want someone to be with me and come over and cuddle. I tried to break up with his ass, but oh no, “baby I don’t want to lose you blah blah blah.” Like shut the fuck up. Sometimes I just want to crack open a guy’s head and see if it is really brains in there or some weird substance still unknown to science. If a guy is your boyfriend he automatically has obligations to do what you want to do or at least have the decency to end the relationship. Grow some balls men, because while you are “hanging with the bros,” we are “texting other bros.”

Pissed as hell


It’s funny how no matter how hard I try to forget you, you always seem to find a way back to my mind.  I live day by day, whishing and hoping that your memory will slowly fade away into nothingness, never again to hunt me on those sleepless nights.  I hate it that when I’m with someone new, I come so close to making myself believe that I am over you.  And then, I see your face, that face that I hate more than anything in this entire miserable world, and I realize that I have no feelings for anyone else but you.  It is so hard to hate you and love you and miss you and hate you more all at once.  My body needs a break from my emotions.  I want to love the person I am with, but your memory makes it hopeless.  I am too smart to fool my mind, and too foolish to get over you.  I pray to a God I don’t believe in, I wish on stars that are not falling, I touch the guitar your fingers played, and melt away on nothing but a memory.  You left me by choice, I wish I could say that your memory lingers by choice, but it does not.  If it were up to me, I would make your memory disappear in an instant, if it were up to choice your presence will not make me shudder, I would see you and smile and go on with my day.  But every time I see you, I force my body to be strong and act as if I am not affected by the air we currently share, I am strong in your eyes, but the second you don’t see me I am so weak I cannot even breathe.  I shake and leave the world for days until I can convince myself, once again, that I am over you.  I will never be over you and for that you are the Devil. I will always hate you, but I will always love you more. I am on my knees begging for you to come back; but I am on my knees begging myself to get over you at the same time.


I could not have expressed my feelings any better!!

Hilarity is

Well, today begins Lent for the Christian world.  Time to get lean and mean.  No seriously, low blood sugar makes us cranky.  Lent is the time of year when we attempt to give up vicesbad habits junk food and soda pop in an effort to show others how religious we are better understand Christ’s sacrifice for us (see, I paid attention in Sunday school).

And it’s super difficult.  I mean, yesterday was America’s favorite holiday.  We get together, eat as much as possible until our snack cupboards are empty and the remnants of a dozen pączki are strew about our lips.  Pączki comma, it’s probably top five in best ways to go.

Yet, the next day, we’re supposed to just eat less?  Makes sense, I’m still pretty full.  There’s nothing to eat in the house anyway and I’m too lazy, since I’m still digesting (that’s my excuse and I’m sticking with…

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I am here to let the world know how saddened and hurt I was by the events that took place on the episode of “Jersey Shore” last night. Unfortunately, I was not able to finish the episode, which brings such multitude of knowledge to our youth; I had to turn it off after a mere 20 minutes or so.  My favorite character was always Vinny; he displayed class and maturity, remember that time he left the show for about one episode? It seemed that he had almost, for about two days, realized that maybe it was time to move on. Oh, but do not worry my fellow Vinny lovers, he came back and boy was I happy. Him, with all those tattoos that do not make sense and make him look so handsome, I knew he was going to bring back some kind of enlightenment to bestow upon his roommates, but man was I wrong.

I do not know why I did not see it coming; I mean everybody does it, right? We all go to clubs to bring back girls who are “DTF” and you know bring back two, just in case one is a lesbian and does not want to suck your c*ck.  And you know how we all sit around and brag about the less attractive girl who is waiting around just in case your better option does not work out.  OH WAIT, WE DON’T.  The way the women were portrayed in that episode, like objects waiting around to be used and then disposed of, it made me sick.  I know it happens in every episode, but this one hit home. I always saw Vinny as this great guy, with maybe even a couple morals hanging around, but he sure proved this fan wrong.  So, I am going to end this with a little letter:

Dear Vinny,

I still have high hopes that you will become the person I know you can be! I know somewhere inside your tanned little body, you will find respect for women and treat them like they actually deserve to be treated.  You let me down, and it’s okay, we all make mistakes.  I believe in you and hope that you will only illustrate, not just in the show, but in the world, the person who you want to be, and the person who you CAN be. Please do not make me hate you ever again.

All my love,

Layla Clark

The Hidden Woman

My eyes meet your eyes

An effortless pull brings you to me

My voice enters your body

It flows like venom through your veins

Lust blinds you ever so slowly

Hunger emerges from your soul

My breath intoxicates your senses

Everything you once knew vanishes

Fear creeps through your spine

You hesitate unaware of my meaning

I am both your duty and desire

My touch makes you surrender

You never stood a chance

Self control seizes to exist

You gave into my power

Just like I knew you would

You lost the battle and the war

You are mine forever.

                I felt so low after that stupid morning, I had finally experienced my first asshole. I felt like I needed a round of applause. “You did it,” “He got you!” I felt embarrassed and used. “I can’t believe you didn’t fuck me last night.” REALLY!! REALLLYYY! Who the fuck says that? Excuse my language. But seriously.  Want to know the worst part, the next day he deleted me off his Facebook!! Hahahahahah.  What a douche. I hate it when boys delete me off their Facebook, like wow your cool we’re no longer friends, you really got me.  The whole concept just really pisses me off.

                Okay, now I have to share something with you, you might hate me and lose respect for me; you should know that I hate me and have lost respect for me too. I am going to do this fast, I texted the stupid asshole and was like “ I am sorry, u probs hate me. We should talk.” Wow, I really had no respect for myself. This guy had screwed me over, and here I was texting him. Want to know the best part, he texted me back and said, “We should go our separate ways.”

                I had gotten screwed twice in one weekend by the asshole, and we did not even have sex.  Well, I guess this is really how my story ends with this guy.  I never really saw him after that, except driving around.  I slowly but surely got my self-confidence back, and am glad that I met Eric. If it was not for him, I would think men were actually nice creatures. If it was not for Eric, I would still think that boys are harmless.

                So, ladies take from a girl with all the experience in the world, not.   Boys are jerks, and even if you think your boy is not a jerk, well, he is.  He will hurt you, and if you think he won’t, think again.  Better yet, we should all just become lesbians, and leave them all to pleasure their asshole selves. Who’s with me!?  Yeah, maybe not.

Till next time.